Indivisable
by Laylinka
Summary: Set during The Break Up. Instead of accepting Kurt's ice cold shoulder and request that he 'not speak,' Blaine refuses to go to bed until he tells Kurt why he was with someone else…
1. Chapter 1

**Started: December 2012**

**Finished: January 2013**

**::Prologue**

"So that was moving. I guess I'm kinda wondering why that was."

"Well, you know I uh I really missed you."

"Missed you too. I'm really glad that you're here. But you've been so emotional and weirdly sad. Please stop pretending that there's nothing wrong."

"I was with someone."

"It was Sebastian wasn't it?"

"No it wasn't Sebastian but it doesn't, it didn't mean anything. It was just a hook up ok?"

"Who was it?"

"It doesn't matter who it was with Kurt. What matters is that I was by myself. I needed you. I needed you around and you weren't there. And I was lonely and I'm sorry."

"You don't think that I haven't been lonely? You think that I haven't had temptations but I didn't act on it because I knew what it meant."

"I'm so sorry Kurt I really am."

Kurt ran off. He didn't come back to the apartment till late.

**::End Prologue**

Blaine sat against the headboard and watched Kurt ready himself for bed. He was almost too scared to say anything for fear Kurt would throw him out right then and there. He decided he could not longer take it and had to find out. "Do you want me to leave tonight?" Not a yes or a no came out. Kurt was silent. He lay down and put off the light on his side of the bed. Blaine laid down but left his light on. Moments passed and he said, "I don't want us to go to bed angry. We've never let the sun set on an argument." Kurt reached over hastily and switched Blaine's lamp off and rolled over with his back to him.

"Ok, you don't have to talk but I need to. I was with some one else because I was afraid you were leaving me." He swallowed. Kurt didn't say anything. "I just felt so far away not just physically but emotionally. I felt like you we're moving on with your life with out me. That all I could do at that time was try to accept that and move on."

"I gave you all of me," Kurt said in disbelief, "and you think I wanted to leave you?"

"It was stupid I know."

"Why? How could you think I was going to leave you?"

Blaine hesitated not wanting to play the blame game, but then thought telling him what was in his heart was the only thing he could do. "You accepted my phone calls less and less and when I would get to talk to you you'd be short with me."

Kurt remembered that and instantly felt bad. "Just because of a few missed phone calls?" He said annoyed. He bravely put his hand on Kurt's shoulder and reminded him.

"Those calls are all we have right now."

"Is that all?" he asked clearly still upset.

"When we'd SKYPE you, I felt like you didn't care about my questions or concerns. I mean I love hearing about you but I felt you didn't want to hear me."

"I have so much going on right now," Kurt said forcefully making the other boy recoil his hand from his shoulder. "I'm sorry if I can't be there for everything."

"I, I'm sorry," was all Blaine could come up with.

"I cannot believe you where that insecure. Why didn't you talk to me?"

"I did-"

"You didn't tell me that you felt insecure."

"I thought I shouldn't feel that way-"

"You're damn right you shouldn't have," Kurt interrupted.

"But I did!" Blaine raised his voice. "I didn't feel like I was in a relationship anymore!" He took a deep breath. "Look at me Kurt, come on," he came close to the other boy and tried to turn him to face him. "Understand," He turned onto his back but still didn't look him in the eye. "I didn't do it because I love someone else. I didn't do it because I'm a pig who can't keep it in his pants or out of jealously spite or revenge."

Kurt tried to get up but Blaine put an arm over him, not allowing him to. Kurt let out an exasperated sigh. "I know, you did it because you didn't trust my love for you, you didn't trust me.

"You gave me less and less to trust in," reasoned Blaine.

What do we have if we don't trust each other?" Kurt asked trying to again to get up. "Let me up," he said but his lover just held him down harder and looked in his eyes intensely.

"Remember when I stupidly pulled away from you because I thought I had to get used to being without you when you would leave for New York and you found yourself enjoying the company of someone else?" His face was barely an inch away from Kurt's. "You should understand insecurity."

"That doesn't make it ok to cheat," Kurt said.

"I'm not saying that makes the cheating ok," he said frustrated. "I'm asking you to understand and relate to that feeling."

Kurt suddenly became very uncomfortable with the argument at hand and his lovers weight holding him down. He regulated his breathing and countered; "That's no comparison. I wasn't ignoring you on purpose."

"That point is moot Kurt and you know it."

"Get off me," he said firmly. Blaine didn't move. Kurt swiftly maneuvered himself to get up but Blaine still pinned him catching him by surprise. "Get…off me," he warned shakily. A moment passed and he violently twisted out of his lovers grip. Blaine rose and grabbed his wrist before the other boy could walk away.

I made a mistake. I never wanted you to stop being my soul mate. Kurt's face softened only a glimmer before he tore his hand away, determined to sleep on the couch.

Kurt leaned back on the couch. He closed his eyes sliding his hand down his body cursing the affect Blaine had on him. He had not expected him to be so aggressive. He laid down and successfully pushed his arousal out of his mind but thoughts of Blaine still lingered and would not leave him be. Tears leaked from his eyes. He lied there struggling with how he felt, how he should feel and what he should do about it.

Blaine laid there and couldn't sleep. He couldn't stand the thought of Kurt alone crying some where even if it was because of him. He had to go and look for him. He found him on the couch sleeping and knelt down quietly so he wouldn't wake him. He looked down at the face of his beautiful lover and hated that he had doubted his love.

"I love you Kurt. You were right, I should've told you how I felt." He kissed the boy on the forehead. "Next time, if there is a next time I will, I promise." Then he headed back to the bedroom.

Little did Blaine know Kurt wasn't really asleep, how could he be? He was having just as much trouble sleeping as his lover. When Blaine had told him he loved him and kissed his forehead it took all he had not to grab the boy, pull him down into his arms and just hold him. But he felt like he couldn't do that, that he shouldn't do that, that he should be mad, that he had every right to be mad. Sure it angered and frustrated him that his lover had doubted him, but it wasn't in his nature to hold a grudge. It was in his nature to have compassion and understand and forgive.

**:: **

Early that morning Blaine tiptoed out before Kurt woke up thoroughly convinced that he didn't want him there in the morning.

Later, Finn came into the living area and was surprised to see Kurt sitting there silently.

"You spooked me," he said.

"It feels like I'm dying, Finn. I love him. Did you ever doubt my love for him?"

"No absolutely not. I've seen the way you are together."

"He doubted it, he doubted me. I gave him all of me. I gave him as much of me as I could, didn't I? Kurt asked him sadly."

"I'm sure you did, he said not being able to comment because he hadn't been around the past 4 months but he was sure his friend had. You guys where always tight you know? No bullshit, like all the other couples, like breaking up 6 times like me and Rachel."

"I want someone constant, "Kurt mused. "Just one person."

"I've known Blaine almost as long as you have," said Finn thoughtfully. "It seems so out of character for him to cheat. I'm sure you never gave him a reason to. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I mean I just stayed away from Rachel for four months and then I come here and she's with another dude. I'm sorry. You've been there for Blaine." Kurt stared off to the side. "Well, here's my new number if you need to talk. Come on, give me a hug before I leave." Kurt got up and let Finn embrace him. "You're my brother and a great friend. I love you." Tears fell down the others boys cheeks and he decided to return the hug.

"I love you too," he said.

Finn pulled away and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm serious dude, if you need to talk, call me, ok?"

"Ok," he sniffled. "Thank you."

**:: **

Two weeks passed and Kurt wouldn't answer his messages and sent Blaine's packages back unopened. He was still unsure how to deal with all of it. It was easier for him not to deal with it at the moment.

::

Back at McKinley, Tina looked for Blaine in the lunchroom cafeteria but he was no where to be found. She sat down eating quickly and went to look for him. After 15 minutes she went looking outside and into the parking lot. She found him in his car. She tapped on the window and gave him a scare. He looked up and she waved. He lowered his window. "Can I come in?" she asked. He unlocked the door wordlessly. He looked like had been crying. Not knowing what to say, she put her hand on his.

He pulled his hand away saying, "Every touch reminds me of his. I'm sorry." Feeling him pull away from her when she was at a loss of what to say to comfort him, caused a few tears to fall down her cheeks. He looked to her. "I'm sorry," he whispered again. "I came out here to be alone."

"I don't want to be alone," she said.

"I am alone…" he said distantly. She put her hand hesitantly on the door lever to respect his whishes and leave and then he said; "I don't want to push you away. I know you're trying to help. I don't even want to come to school," he said. They both sat there in silence. He turned to her and asked; "What can I do? What can I do to ease this pain, and all of this guilt?" He asked her desperately. "Tell me something because I'm running out of options."

"Have you considered going to the school counselor or maybe professional counseling?"

"No," he said tearfully.

"Let me take you to Emma."

"I was wrong in what I did. What can Emma tell me? Only Kurt can absolve me. What can she do?"

"I don't know, I'm not a counselor but she can be insightful. Come with me ok? Right now." He just looked down. She got out of the car and went to his side and opened his door. "Come on. Let me take you to see Emma, please." He begrudgingly got out of his car and went with her.

::

Tina approached Blaine at his locker. "I was wondering if you'd like to come over after school today. We can watch movies, a comedy, whatever you want."

"When I get home, at the end of every day, it's still the same."

"I'm trying to help fill this gap, till you and Kurt talk again. I'm trying to make it easier."

"Maybe I'll see that one day but now, it's so hard," he said sadly.

"You will see. It will be easier. Let me listen to you. We can talk about it."

"I can't."

"Ok."

"But I'd like to watch movies." She was so happy he took her up on her offer that tears welled in her eyes. She wanted to give him a hug but then she remembered how he said every touch reminded him of Kurt so she restrained. "Good I'm glad. I look forward to it." She gave him a small smile, nodded and walked away.

::

At her house, in her room they sat on her bed. He sat and watched calmly but after a while he started to get restless and changed his position a lot as if he couldn't get comfortable.

"He won't take my calls…" he said suddenly. She muted the movie.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I'm glad I told him why I did it because he's not listening anymore. At least he knows but it doesn't make me any less of a monster."

"You're not a monster Blaine Warbler," she smiled a little.

"Who would do that to someone who loves them so much? He's so delicate I mean he puts on a strong front but…"

"He loves you. I'm sure he will forgive you."

"I, he's so far away, emotionally, just gone…from me, he said somberly."

"Kurt's a very passionate person. I doubt he is as removed from his feeling for you as you think he is.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He sniffled. "Maybe I should go," he said. "I don't think I'll watch the rest of the movie." She didn't want him to leave. She was concerned about his mental stability and his ability to drive with the stress he was under. She was worried he might do something terrible, so terrible she couldn't even say it.

"I know you aren't like Kurt in terms of sleepovers but…you can stay. I really don't think you should drive alone or be alone. I don't want you to get hurt." He looked down sadly. He could think of no reason why he had to go home anyway. He turned over on his back, rubbed his face and sighed.

She got up and went to her closet and came back with soft white pajama pants and matching white long sleeved shirt. "Here, she said as she put them on his stomach."

"Thank you," he whispered and changed his clothes. He relaxed on his back again and she lay propped up on her elbow.

"I can go, you can have my bed," she offered.

"You don't have to go."

"I wish I could help you more."

"You are…I'm not alone tonight." He proceeded to explaining to her the reasons surrounding their break up. "We were supposed to have a strong bond. I felt his bond with me was breaking…and I was breaking. All I wanted was to heal. A part of me whishes I hadn't told him. But it was the right thing to do. I wanted to do right by him, always."

"Telling him was the right thing to do. Not telling him would've been dishonest and would've been worse in the end. And you're not a dishonest person Blaine Warbler. I'd forgive you," she said honestly.

"But you hardly know me."

"He loves you for many reasons right? You made one mistake. It doesn't make all your good deeds undone."

"It did, I saw them all unravel when I looked into his eyes."

"That's not true, she whispered. I saw you two together. You don't just connect like that with anyone."

"You make him very happy."

"I did…"

"Give it time."

"He's so far away. He won't forgive me, he'll forget me."

"Remember last year at prom?" She reminisced. "We sang Take My Breath Away. You danced, everyone danced. He'll never forget you." At that thought he started to cry. He remembered Kurt had said, you take my breath away when they met in the auditorium when he relieved Kurt's jealously concerning Sebastian. "I'm sorry," she said seeing what she had said had triggered more tears.

"I don't just want to be forgiven. I want, need to be with him. He has my spark, he has my heart. He has what made me…me."

She reached over and squeezed his shoulder. "Could I try something?"

"What?"

"I don't want you to be up all night sad. Can I try giving you a back massage?"

"A message? Really? I didn't know you could do that," he said sadly. "Sure, getting some sleep instead of being like this all night sounds good." He rolled onto his stomach and she sat on his butt and rubbed his back through the thin soft shirt he wore. She truly felt bad for him and contemplated how easy it was to loose someone's trust when you've done a number of things to nurture it and preserve it, in any relationship, to make sure it stays strong. Then she thought about how relationships would last with out forgiveness. They wouldn't. Not just romantic ones but, friendships and family relationships. She sighed and leant down slightly. Blaine had fallen asleep. She was relieved and happy. She turned off the light climbed under the covers beside him.

::

She woke at 4 A.M. finding an arm around her and Blaine sobbing into her back. He had quite a grip, almost as if he'd die if he let go. Feeling that almost made her cry again. He had to know she was awake or maybe he wished she weren't. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know if she should move or say anything. Maybe he just needed to hold someone and be sad for now.


	2. Chapter 2

In his and Rachel's new York apt, Kurt opened up his laptop and checked his messages. There was the usual apology from Blaine and a message from Tina. It read; I miss you. We miss you. I want to talk to you. It's urgent. Kurt sighed, guessing it was about Blaine. He stared at the words. Thinking that it had been awhile since they had seen each other let alone spoken he decided to SKYPE her. Her face lit up when she seen him. "Hey Kurt," the shy girl said.

"Hey honey," he smiled.

"How are you?" she asked

"Busy, very busy, but right now I have some time to breathe. How about you?"

"Just senior year, Glee club, you know," she said shortly. Clearly she didn't want to talk about herself.

"You said you had something urgent to tell me," he inquired.

"Yeah, it's about Blaine," she said and he visibly stiffened. "May I speak freely? Because the last thing I want is for you to get mad at me too."

He looked surprised at her assumption. "Of course. What's on your mind?" he asked carefully.

"I'm worried about him. You two should talk. It would help-"

"He still sends me messages," he interrupted.

"But you're not letting him talk to you." Kurt sighed. "He's been completely detached and broken."

"That happens when you get your heart broken," he said as a matter of factly taking the statement to apply more to him then to Blaine.

"But you don't have to stay broken. He was sad when you left. Sad that you're gone and now this. How could you?"

"Excuse me…how could I?" he asked not sure if she was insinuating that he in fact was in the wrong somehow.

"Blaine's a great guy. He's someone who would never purposefully hurt you, someone who will always look at you with adoring eyes."

He imagined those hazel eyes that seemed to burn when they looked at him and felt a pang of sadness. "Tina stop," he said firmly.

"You're being cold Kurt. I'm shivering and I'm all the way in Ohio."

"Aww," his tone softened. "I'm not being cold to you sweetheart."

"You're being cold to Blaine. It's so unlike you."

Those thoughts stung him so he quickly retorted; "Sleeping with another guy was very unlike him."

"Please, you guys are like the perfect love story. I know he made a mistake but Kurt you have to-" she started to cry. "To allow him his mistakes because his heart is yours, it's yours."

He felt bad seeing her cry. His overly emotional Tina. "Tina, Tina, I'm going to give you a virtual hug ok?" he started out hopeful. "Feel my arms around you, ok?"

She closed her eyes. "Ok," she sobbed.

"Feel me squeezing you, ok?"

"Yeah," she said faintly.

He paused, desperately searching for some comforting words to tell her knowing that he couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear. He rested his forehead in his hand. "Don't cry. Everything will be ok," he said softly. "Give our friends my love. I have to go. Take Care." He closed his lap top with tears in his eyes.

::

His New York schedule was hectic but when things started to calm down during some evenings, lots of nights and most 3 AMs, his mind was flooded with thoughts of his ex lover and how warmly he had been loved by him. He took sleeping pills so he could function. Rachel often put her arm around him telling him everything would be ok but his moping took a toll on her.

**:: **

"He cheated on you," Rachel said as if Kurt was dense.

"He was with someone else because he was insecure."

"And that all of a sudden makes it excusable?" she said frustrated.

"Not completely but we both made mistakes-"

"Listen, you didn't make any mistakes. You were always there and upfront with him."

He raised his brows saying, "Remember Chandler?"

"But you didn't cheat on Blaine."

"Cheat? Not exactly. I did feel insecure though."

"Ok, that's ok, but you didn't do anything as horrible as cheat."

"What he did was wrong yes, but, he was actually very hurt. I wasn't there for him like-"

"Like what? You're all the way in New York. He can't expect you to baby him and then jump in bed with another guy if you miss a call."

Kurt's brows furrowed. "It's not like that."

"That's exactly what it sounds like. How can you defend him?"

"I'm just trying to understand!" he shouted

"Geez can you hear yourself? You're just making excuses for him," she yelled back. "I'm sorry," she said. "I just don't want to see you hurt. Just understand that you can't give enough of yourself to possibly be enough for Blaine."

"You know what? I just don't think some one who's broken up with their boyfriend 6 times can give me valid relationship advice."

"Look Kurt, Blaine turned out to be a jerk and I'm really sorry about that. Hey look at me." She made him look into her big brown eyes. "You'll find someone else, some one who deserves you. Just get out more meet some more people and Blaine will become a distant memory. You know what they say, once a cheater always a cheater."

"I don't really think Blaine's like that."

"Don't be naive. Naive doesn't look good on you."

"I just don't want to be so quick to judge him. We've over all had a wonderful, amazing relationship."

"Oh god," she said frustrated. "You're always so quick to forgive. It's getting tiresome. You forgive the people who bully you and hurt the people you love. Now you want to forgive someone that said they love you but hurt you instead. Don't be such a push over."

He glared at her. "If I were any less forgiving I wouldn't be friends with you. I would still be holding a grudge against a certain, greedy, jealous, obnoxious, egotistical, self centered little girl who hated me, who every week stole my solo's and stepped on me on her way to the top.

She went to slap him but he caught her wrist and said, "I don't want to talk about this with you anymore." He let go and walked away.

"Please," Rachel said. "I'm sorry I-I really do care about you."

**:: **

Kurt was in his bosses office dropping some papers off when she noticed his face was red as if he'd been crying. "Hey are you ok?" she asked.

He lied and said "yeah" and kept walking.

"No wait, sit down," Isabelle said as she closed the door.

"I'-I'm sorry," he said.

"No it's ok. What's wrong?" He just shook his head. "You can tell me, he said putting her hand on his."

"It's my boyfriend, my ex, I don't know. He was with someone else and a part of me thinks it's my fault."

"Wait back up. How do you know he was with someone else?"

"He told me. He flew to see me right after the fact and has been sending flowers one hundred apologies ever since."

"He flew to see you? Where is he?"

"Lima Ohio,"

"Oh I see, that's unfortunate. The key to a long distance relationship is communication. You also have to decide just how much of yourself is still in Ohio with him."

"It feels like," he sniffled, "all of me."

"Why do you believe it was your fault?"

"I was too busy. I didn't always take his calls. I cut him off when we would SKYPE."

"Ok, if I may?" Isabelle asked. He nodded. "First off, everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. Also, especially in a long distance relationship, you have to be extra sensitive to their feeling during those phone calls because those calls are all you have at their point and resolve issues when they arise. You have to communication. What you need to ask yourself now is, is this relationship is worth saving? Is what you have greater then that the indiscretion? How long have the two of you been dating?"

"A year and six months."

"On again, off again?"

"No, totally solid."

"Wow, that's great. Ok, how where the two of you going to make this work?"

"Our plan was that after a year, after he graduated, that he'd move here with me. I'm just not sure I can give him anymore of me now, that we are so far apart, you know, but I want to."

"Do you believe he loves you?"

"Yes."

"Do you love him?"

"Tears fell down his face. So much, yes."

"I know, a year feels like a long time especially when you're young but it's really not that long. In light of what has happened, you have to have a discussion with him of what you both need to work on to make this relationship float and not sink, ok? Promise me?" She held out her pinky. He smiled and reciprocated. "It's clear you both are still crazy for each other," she continued. "I like seeing you happy. You radiate when you're happy and it's inspiring." He smiled and laughed a little. "And if all goes well with you two, I look forward to meeting him."

**:: **

He was so anxious he didn't know what he should do next. He wanted to message Blaine. He wanted to see him in person. He wanted to fly him out there but it all wasn't fast enough. So, he decided to book the soonest flight to see him. He didn't tell Rachel where he was going because she would only try to talk him out of it and he wanted to surprise Blaine anyway. He smiled to himself.

At the end of the school day, Blaine saw Kurt in the hall and his heart thumped hard in his chest. Thoughts that Kurt had come there to officially break it off with him weighted him down. He averted his eyes as Kurt jogged up to him.

"Blaine," Kurt smiled.

"What do you want that you couldn't just tell me over the phone?"

He was a little put off by the other boy's melancholy tone but this wasn't the time to hesitate. "This," he said taking the boys head and kissing him abruptly. All the noise and the hustle of the crowds of kids fell away.

When he finally let him go Blaine said, "I'm not perfect Kurt I-"

"Listen," Kurt interrupted, keeping their foreheads together. "At first I was mad that you were insecure but I understand. I thought I gave you enough but I recall times I could've given you more and I'm sorry. You were always there when I wanted to talk to you. I didn't mean to brush you off. You just got to tell me if you ever feel that way again. And I really don't want to loose you. I wanted you to know that. I took some of my savings to come to see you. I can get more money later but I can't get another you."

"Kurt," the other boy began.

"Shh, let me talk. We have amazing, thrilling, constant love more then I ever could've hoped for and I don't think it should end over a stupid mistake. I never meant to hurt you and I know you never meant to hurt me. Our schedules are different and we may miss each other, but I want this to work. I never thought I could loose you till all this happened. Promise me you'll talk to me or leave me a message if you start to feel those feelings again."

By now Blaine was in tears. "I promise, I promise," he said.

"Let's go somewhere." Kurt took Blaine's hand and pulled him down the now empty halls of McKinley.


End file.
